Saturday, March 7, 2009

Life's Journey

There are those defining moments in life that just happen. With or without them your life would not be what it is today. Not all of those moments are good, and not all of them are bad. They just are. Moments. Fractions of time in the scope of all things, not even on the radar of eternity. Yet, they are signifiant in your life at that time. Sometimes they are the moments that provide the swift kick in the the backside that propels you to do what you would otherwise never have done.

My life has been made up of many of those moments over the last eight weeks. If my husband had not been laid off of the job that he hates, and if my current place of employment had not blocked my ability to work more hours, and if they had not decided to re-write contracts,and if I had not gotten an email from a friend who got an email from a friend I would not be where I am today: hopeful. Today was a MAJOR milestone for me. I HAD to pass this stupid exam that allows me the right to bill almost all insurances for my counseling services. In the counseling field it is the "it," the "I have accomplished the highest licensure my profession offers" (without becoming a pschologist). There was a lot riding on that exam, my whole immediate future to be exact. Passing me allows me to move. I can go with a measure of confidence to my new counseling office and start fresh. Without it, I would not have been able to make that move until at least July or August. For me, at this time, that seems like an eternity. It is time for a change. I have overcome one hurdle, but I am scared and uncertain of my future, again. I don't think that will every actually change. If there is one lesson I have learned well and return to often is that nothing is certain, and nothing lasts forever. That is why those moments are so important, and so important to take. Once they have slipped by they become unretrievable. In the wise words of my friends wife (can't remember her name), "Should haves are not reality."

Thank you friends for all of your support and encouragement. It means the world to me and actually helped keep me from a full blown panic attack on the way to the testing site this morning.